distraction

when ive got something i really need to do in a short space of time i always find something else to do, like replacing my scented drawer liners , or doodling a dog.

got up, breakfast, pc, called my dad, called andrew, called suzanne, debbie called, washing,beauty bathed, photographed vince, saw anna, made soup, went to sainsbury's, called joanna, ate chilli, had a nap, called martyn, debbie called, sue called, had a bath, went to debbies, watched heroes, had a beer, came home, pc, drew a quick pissing stars bunny,bed..

work work

its saturday afternoon.. the wind is howling outside and the rain is splattering on the huge window panes of this converted car showroom i work in. its not pissing it down. in fact its more like someone is spitting into the wind around the corner, and its landing on the glass, but its still quite wild out there. i cycled over to asda at lunchtime and wandered around making a couple of phone calls as i blankly ignored all the produce in the aisles. i'd though i was dead hungry when i set off, which is why i went out so early. but when i was in there nothing appealled to me. i ended up buying some vegetarian ready meal which i can microwave later and eat at my super tidy
desk

i always find it dead weird working saturdays. the office is really quiet, and being here makes me feel like i'm in detention at school. there are a few other people in here today. my colleague paul who has gone home for lunch, and some other people who look after the local network. no one is speaking at all.. and its not like theyre busy. ive just wandered past them to the toilet, peeking at everyone's screens as i passed, and they're all looking at ebay, or some sports websites or something. . during the week all theses people seem dead chatty. i guess it must be the fact that they're all wishing they were at home this saturday afternoon thats keeping them so mum..

ive put my phone on ebay for the hundred and fiftieth time . im hoping it will sell in a flash. i was talking to martyn last night who reminded me that the new nokia N96 is now available. so my once super desirable N95 is realistally , in phone terms at least. just some trash from the past. its probably gone down in value in the last week or so. if it doesnt sell this time (i'll know tommorow as i only put it on for one day) , or indeed i get ripped off again by some moronic compulsive bidder. im sorely tempted to see what happens if i place the phone on my log fire, or leave it on a bar and see if comeone steals it or hands it in, or pop it secretly into a lady's handbag, or a hoodies hood. surely these things would be better than the frustration of people not paying on ebay.

anyway, im off to milk a pigeon.

*sigh*

im at work , its 01:42 a.m. and im bored and irritated..
bored because its deathly quiet here, ive barely had a phone call or anything to deal with, AND ive got to stay here until 07:00 am.. and im extremely irritated because i just got an email from a bloke who bought my nokia n95 on ebay...... the auction finished on friday morning , and at about 17:30 that very same day, i got confirmation that he had paid me via paypal which was great . then he emailed me to say he was expecting to receive the phone on saturday morning as he'd paid for "next day delivery" . i mailed him back to say that that was impossible, and that id post it on saturday morning.
well come saturday morning and im really crap and i sleep late and miss the post office, so i politely emailed this bloke again to apologise. saying that it would definitely be with him on tuesday.
tonight he contacted me to say that he didnt want the phone and he wanted a refund, his father needed the phone and he was travelling abroad and blah de blah..
i was fuming.. . i replied saying that i would refund his money . but im going to deduct the paypal fee of £7.25 and the ebay fees of £6. and also that i wont be able to give him it until its cleared in my bank.. i stressed to him that im not a mobile phone shop.. im just a bloke selling his old phone.

oh i could have just done with that £200. this was the third time i've listed this phone. twice people have won and then just not paid. i was really chuffed that someone paid me so quickly. maybe i'm destined to keep it.

work is such a drag tonight, the only bit of joy ive had all evening has been a couple of personal calls to martyn and to my mate joanna.

i think i might have a nap

xx

knackered

im living on literally 20 minutes sleep in the last 197 hours. im so tired, and yet so wired. but sensibly i did resist the temptation to go out to the pub tonight. ... instead , sue came over and we had a couple of beers in front of a roaring fire. its been quite nice, paticularly as its so fucking cold tonight. outside i could see my breath for the first time since last winter.
today i got up at about 11, which was really early considering i didnt get to bed until 8 after my second nightshift. i was disturbed by my neighbour's washing machine. when its in full spin its like being sucked into a vortex of despair , or something equally unpleasant.. the spin hadnt really got going when i got up, but i could hear it whirring and growling upstairs in a threatening manner. so i figured being tired was better than trying to sleep through it. all restless , wiggling my feet and grinding my teeth.
consequently im deranged now and the warmth of my glowing embers is making me drowsy. im off to me bed.....

work work work work

im at work on a long long nightshift and i cant do a drawing this evening because it seems that "paint" isnt working on my pc for some reason.

its not very exciting doing these nightshifts though i've brought lots of things with me to entertain me between calls. ive got my iphone with "juno" on it to watch later i rented it from itunes , and also an episode of a tv show called "breaking bad" that i also got from itunes this afternooon. its the pilot episode and was free , so i thought i'd give that a go.. i remember getting into "damages" in a big way because i got the first episode for free. which was great but cost me quite a lot to watch it on my ipod, paticularly when i could have watched it on the telly on bbc1.. but theres something quite special about watching things on an ipod with headphones on.. paticularly at work at 03:00.

ive added a picture of me taken on my phone at my desk. you can see by my natural looking smile and haggard face how joyous my working life is. i often wonder how any job could be quite as fullfilling as this one...

ive just realised i could also post a drawing of a desk doodle too!!! and there it is at the top, all blurry and everything. just to make things confusing.. but thats very typical of what i do when im sort of busy .. as in fill the page with crap !

its 22:08 and im thinking vending nachine coffee and a snickers bar

one line

saturday teatime. im boiling rice and griddling peppers to make something suprising and scrumptious, that will also involve a corn fed, dead chicken's breast.
today has been a wonderful day weatherwise, though i did sort of miss half of it by sleeping late. that could be partly to do with the fact that i was up until 04:00 this morning. i'd been over to debbies until about 01:00, and then when i got in i started messing around looking for fireplace things online and checking my ebay and stuff, and then suddenly it was 04:00.. anyway i had a lovely nights sleep and , the lie in was also a treat.

ive been playing with art-rage this afternoon. trying to do drawings with just one line. i did loads of them, here are a couple. i found it really satisfying, its kind of like automatic writing as i dont know whats going to appear on
the "page" until i starting waving my wand around ( btw i cant make that irritating gap in the text go away)

after all my doodling , sue came over and took me in the car to go and buy logs , coal and kindling. im all stocked up for the autumn now and i feel like a squirrel. ive cleared out a cupboard thats next to my fireplace and its now full of logs and a treat to behold when i open the door.. prior to this it had a mop in it and some old roller blinds, so its a lot better.
im listening to bowie's heathen at the minute. i havent heard it for ages. and forgot just how good it really is, paticularly the title track which really sounds like nothing else.. that was the last of his albums that i bought.. maybe i should buy the other two that have been released since.
anyrerd.. off to check on my griddles

omg its 02:15

its thursday and i hate this typeface, but , despite that im quite perky.. ive been out to the pub tonight with sue which was pleasant ... though it seems thursday, is a night when all the gangs of scary blokes ,with no coats ,and horrible shirts decide to congregate in the bars that are normally peaceful.

i found it all a bit intimidating and uncomfortable, but we did finally go to pave which plays jazz music very loudly. this obviously keep the dickheads away, a-la garlic/ vampires

anyway we left at last orders and sue went home, and ive been online ever since. ive still been obsessively checking my ebay , theres not been so much activity of late, im hoping it will all kick off over the weekend. and other than that ive had a nice chat with my online friend michael who is thinking of leaving brighton and moving to liverpool. thats a big decision to make as i imagine they're worlds apart.. but im sure liverpool is great. in fact i know people who live there and love it.

anyroad.. im off to bed

wednesday is my thursday

its wednesday. normally the middle of the working week, but seeing as how im off work on friday, wednesday is indeed, my thursday.

work was completely uneventful today. i was sitting in a seat of low visibilty , so at least when it was quiet i could obsessively press f5 over and over again to refresh my ebay sellers page. im selling three things, my ipod touch, my nokia n95 , and most excitingly my signed "hate" print by d*face. the print is currently up to £186 and the auction doesnt finish until sunday.. im thinking maybe about £400 which would be nice. i bought it about two years ago when i realised the the banksy prints i nearly bought about a year earlier than that for just £100 each were starting to go for literally thousands.. i whipped my sister sue into a low budget art investment frenzy,and we combined funds to to buy this d*face print...the reason i'm selling it now is sue and i have booked a long autumnal weekend away in the lake district , and the plan is we'll make enough money to cover the cost of that...

OMG my life is like aliving version of daytime t.v's "cash in the attic" thats the kind of thing they raise money for on there.. what has my life become....??

i can't stop eating tonight.. ive been been scoffing bread and salty butter with tons of marmite on top.. its been very satisfying and i keep popping through for another slice, very much like someone in valley of the dolls would pop through for another doll.. im considering making a bowl of popcorn. though last time i made some i put about four corn kernels in the pan and then when they had popped i suddenly had enough popcorn to fill about 7 large washing up bowls.. and my lips got sore from all the salt.

im writing this in pretty much the same position i was in last night, though tonight , now the evening chill has engulfed me , im wrapped in a furry nu-nu , shawl style.. its very cosy and im too lazy to start raking out the fireplace to light it for just a couple of hours on my own.. ive got a cup of steaming peppermint tea with a slice of fresh lemon and cinnamon sticks, though without the fresh lemon and cinnamon sticks .. but whatever.its very nice and warming..

im trying my hardest to embrace the world of autumn :-)

illuminated by the lamp from argos

im sitting , no lounging, stretched out on mia, my cat's sofa, leaning against some plump cushions and able to see my keyboard because of my wonderful lamp that i bought the day i started this blog.. its great. im enjoying using my laptop in these new cosy conditions, though it does appear to be heating up my lap a little too much... maybe i should get one of said pump cushions and use it like a sickly breakfast tray with fold out legs...then my lap would be protected from the overwhelming heat.

work today was one of those days that just drifts by, but i was glad leave when the working day ended. on my way home i popped into the co-op up the road and nearly collapsed when i noticed piles of christmas selection boxes.. its only bastard september.. maybe i should get with it early this year and put my tree up now.

this evening i beauty bathed in an extra deep, extra hot bath.. it was almost up to my eyelids.. my reason for this wasnt just a wasteful disregard of the need to preserve water , or save on gas... it was actually because i seem to have done something to my shoulder.. its really hurting at the moment , every keystroke is AGONY... but the bath seemed to soothe it slightly, for the duration of being submerged at least.

after the bath i chatted on the phone to debbie, who was sewing on a sewing machine as she spoke to me. then i spoke to martyn who i'm pleased to say was sounding quite perky. and now im drinking my last cup of peppermint tea before i go to bed.. i didnt realise how late it was ..

monday monday monday

its monday.

today.. i got wet, my watch broke, i bought kings of leon's new album, i went to work, i came home getting wet again, i ate chicken and rice, i had a beauty bath , i chatted on the phone and i did a 30 second drawing of mickey mouse and now im expecting sue to come over so we can light a fire

sunday

this is a sort of map of where i went on my bike today

drunk

drunk

thursday

its thursday night. today was a glorious sunny day, though i didn't experience much of it because i was at work. i work in a building that used to be a car showroom, with high celings and huge windows , and equally huge vertical blinds that everyone in the office insists on closing the minute there is a hint of sunshine. and to make matters worse some people choose to turn on the communal strip lighting.. so while the lucky people who aren't forced to be in my office are wandering around outside squinting at the cloudless blue blue sky. im sitting in a room thats very much like an art installation entitled " death row"..

but, im off work tommorow , so it was all quite bearable and for some reason it was quite fun today. i was really busy, both with customers and engineers, and when i wasnt doing that i was spending a lot of time tending to bunty's needs, or popping to the vending machine getting rounds of coffee in.

this evening i've been on the phone quite a lot, mostly whislt lounging in the deepest possible beauty bath. ive had quite a pleasant time. though its getting a bit cold in here now. im really trying to resist putting the heating on, but i might have to have a short blast before i go to bed.

im going to go and buy coal tommorow......

early night

im knackered tonight, had a long long long 12 hour day at work. im just running a beauty bath and quickly did a drawing on paint .

paint is so simple and quick , i really like the "fill" feature and you can do a drawing like the one ive just done in a matter if seconds..

it takes longer to save it than to draw it.

i was speaking to martyn the other day who made me laugh because he'd bought two vimto chews for sixpence..

its still making me snigger now... ive no idea why i found it so funny.

its also made me think about black jacks and flying saucers.. i must go to a penny sweet shop .

anyrerd.. i'm too tired to type anything else.. the worlds economy is collapsing around us and i think the best thing to do is go and have a beauty bath and go to bed early.

well i tried again and heres bunty !!!

though i have to say i did cheat and trace from a screenshot....

monday monday

tonight ive been trying to do a drawing on art rage, all i wanted to do was a drawing of bunty from my current favourite facebook game " pet society ".. but for some reason i just cant seem to get it right, and yet its so simple........ so instead ive posted an old painting i did of leigh bowery a few years ago.. i'd sort of forgotten i did this and just found it in one of my many photo folders.. it doesnt actually exist anymore, because i painted over it when i was short of a canvas to do a dog painting for someone.

saturday afternoon

its saturday afternoon, im munching oat cakes and listening to scott matthew's album which ive been after for ages and last night discovered it on itunes for £8. its wonderful. he sounds like he's about to burst into tears , or at least run out of breath every single second of the whole album. his voice sometimes sounds like bowie , and then others a little like antony hegarty. its such a rich voice. and ideal as a soundtrack for a sunny september saturday afternoon.

ive been getting to grips a bit more with my art rage software. i just did a quick "painting" of my orange plastic bunny that lives on my mantlepiece. its great fun to use., you can have the paint dry instantly or be a bit smudgy, and i do think it looks a bit like real paint. i was having problems exporting the images as you can see below. i was using jpeg which made everything all pixelly. i mentioned it to martyn and he made the simple suggestion of using png instead and it solved that pixelly problem instantly. i dont know why i hadnt tried it. i just thought that jpeg was the only thing i could use.

ive been invited to a party tonight. my next door neighbour who's name i dont even know is 60. i dont really fancy it , and i had a romantic vision of myself having a quite night in lounging in some comfy slippers, drinking redbush tea and reading a lovely book just like someone in a film having a quiet night in...but i figured i wont get any peace with the party going on next door so i may as well go. and realistically party or not, i probably wouldn't have sat in on my own on a saturday night.. because its bastard saturday !!

im ever so slightly hungover today. i went out last night with debbie, down to dazal for beer and olives, and then over to zest where we met up with my friends sally and louise. it was a fun night. we took lots of photos on the smoking veranda , trying to look somber and then trying to do suprised gary glitter expression's like he used to do on top of the pops.. it was one of those things that isnt even vaugely amusing in retrospect , but last night we were all pissing ourselves about it...

i guess thats lager for you...

OMG , scott is now singing "in the end" , its one of those songs that im not sure i can last to the end of. i find it too emotionally intense, its wonderful though. i have a few songs like that. "starla" by smashing punpkins, "midnight radio" from the hedwig show soundtrack, "coral room" by kate bush, and "cripple and the starfish" by antony and the johnsons.. ooh and "still life" by suede.. they're all songs that could catch me unaware and have me in a heap of unstoppable tears.. i should really save them for special occasions... im in too much of a perky mood to listen to this stuff today. i think i'll pop some interpol on ...

ooh "obstacle 1".. i forgot how fucking brilliant this song is. its now officially my favourite song of all time , im wiggling around in my cheap squeaky office chair, singing along at the top of my voice " YOU GO STABBING YOURSELF IN THE NECK!!!!!!"..

friday

this is a painting i did a while ago as a commision. its a portrait of a lovely dog called mr. brown ..

good day for a wednesday

its wednesday !!!. 30 years ago, when i was 14 , i used to regularly go and see a local punk band called the void , the highlight of their set was a song called "what's so good about wednesdays?" and like many things from when i was 14, its always stuck in my head. .... suprisingly coming forth from my brain's many memory cabinets , often on a wednesday.....

this wednesday has been a good day, work was ok, it sort of breezed by without anything horrific happening, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood, maybe because mr. sunshine was painting us with his golden brush whilst we answered the phone. at lunchtime i went to pc world and treated myself to the luxury of a new graphics tablet.. it was relatively cheap and i figured if it was crap i'd just take it back and say i'd bought it as a gift for someone's birthday, but they'd already got one.. anyway, i cycled home at 17:30 and installed the drivers and everything, and its just fucking brilliant. its so responsive , its like drawing with a marker pen on some melamine, or a biro on a banana.. .. i may never have to draw on my furniture again !..

after messing around on it for some time, my sister called and wanted to come over , shes just left now, we had a good chat and talked about our trip to the lake district in november and had a couple of beers together. im drinking redbush tea now, i fucking love redbush, i think it tastes how tea used to look in adverts in the 1970's. a syrup coloured liquid being poured from a lemon coloured pot, into a lemon coloured cup, on a lemon coloured saucer.. though thinking about it they might actually have been adverts for lemon tea.. and i never got on with that..

bunny pyramid

080908

i was uber fed up yesterday so decided to book a days holiday today. its been nice sleeping late and feeling quite free,

on this quiet autumny day.

ive got the back door open and i can't even hear any birds outside. ( no birds do sing , auschwitz style ) all i can hear is the fan on my pc, my own breathing and the clicky clacking of the keys as i tippy tap away.

im just having a break from re arranging my computer room. which basically just means moving mia's sofa round so it faces the fire. i shall sit there later, looking at the empty grate in anticipation of the chilly day when i can get a coal fire going.

ive also bought a new lamp that will beam cosy beams onto where i sit , thus enabling me to read, draw and use my laptop without the having to put the main light on.

i hate having the main light on ...........